Downs and Ups

This has been an interesting time to say the least...

My job carries with it some degree of stress that I live with all the time. I work on a fairly small team We have a fairly aggressive approach to multitasking and project scheduling. There is always too much to do, never enough time to finish a project and many distractions that make focusing on anything for long rather difficult.

Then over the summer, one team member resigned, moving on to something more attractive for him. Someone I really enjoyed working with and valued his expertise and input into the chaos of the environment.

Then a month later my manager resigned. Our relationship hadn't always been easy but I had come to respect his vision and the objective way he set about things.

Then 3 weeks later another team member resigned. I had worked with him for 8+ years and it was tough to see him move on.

2 months, 3 men down from an already small and overwhelmed team.

At this point, I began to wonder if I was the ignorant one for staying put and not seeking a less stressful environment, a more satisfactory job. It was tough to see each of them go. It was hard to contemplate what the coming months would hold and how stressful they would be.

In addition, situations like this, involving rejection, transitions, loss and uncertainty have quite often been extremely hard for me to work through. In fact in some ways I still don't trust my responses or reactions in those settings.

Nevertheless I seem to have managed to maintain a fairly even keel and avoided becoming overly depressed about these difficult events like things that have knocked me for a loop in the past. I can't quite explain it. but I'm grateful for the positive attitude that I've managed to keep through  it all.

Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware of the challenges, stress and incredibly busy months that are ahead, but I'm in a much better headspace than I've been when faced with lesser challenges in the past.

Then today, I got some good news. I won't divulge the nature of it, but it was unexpected and encouraging. I'm glad to be in a place where I can appreciate it instead of in the doldrums. At times like these, I feel like I'm more fortunate than I have any right to be.

I tend to not get carried away with it, but as Thanksgiving day approaches (It's still a couple weeks away, but it's approaching...) I have much to be thankful for.

These aren't deep or inspiring thoughts, but they are where I'm at right now. And I know I'm more positive than I often seem to be. For this I'm grateful.