Grandpa

June 28, 2015

My Grandpa died today. It's the first time in my life that his steady, larger-than-life presence isn't there to fall back on. Even when he was old and feeble, he still produced reminders of what he had stood for and never seemed to waver from his faith or his purpose in life.

When I was a kid I was sure my dad knew everything and could do everything. I was also pretty sure that everything he knew had been imparted to him by Grandpa, and I figured Grandpa had probably gotten all of it firsthand from God.

I've been thinking about things I learned from Grandpa. There are untold numbers of things on that list, but here are a few that come to mind right now.

Grandpa attended school until 4th grade. Yet he never let that stop him from learning and accomplishing what needed to be done. He could weld and build mechanical things with an ingenuity nearing that of an inventor. If something needed to be loosened he'd reach for the WD-40, and if it needed to be secured he'd pull out the JB Weld. He was a firm believer that if you couldn't turn a lug nut, all you needed was a longer handle. He repaired VWs for years and had a consistently good name among the local community. In addition to mechanical prowess, he studied the wider world around us. Regular subscriptions to National Geographic for years and years, resulted in a proverbial bookshelf full of old issues, Other subscriptions included the US News and World Report, the Jerusalem Post and a number of other Jewish oriented publications. To read them today, I'm certain I would disagree vehemently with the perspective but I still value the effort he put forth to widen his area of knowledge.

When Grandpa preached he could rattle the window panes with his conviction and when he prayed it seemed like heaven must accede due to his ardor and quaking-voiced insistence. His short stocky stature belied the veritable giant among men that he seemed. Nonetheless as I got older and learned more about the way the world works I came to realize that along with his conviction, and certainty (things I markedly lack) there were elements of harshness and regret that it would have been better to not carry. He was one of the first people who helped my understand that good men aren't perfect. He wasn't a good man because he didn't have failings. He was good in spite of his failings.

From everything I know about Grandpa in his younger years I gather he was highly opinionated, and held those opinions quite strongly. (I suppose it's safe to say elements of those show up in my own experience as well...) A number of times in Grandpa's life his unwillingness to concede a point, no matter how important or technically correct he was, resulted in alienation from others, sometimes even loved ones. I appreciate that he sought to hold fast to the things he felt were important, but I view the alienation that caused as something that can and should be avoided.

As a family we were quite accustomed to seeing his arms folded, eyes squeezed shut and his head bouncing up and down with a peculiar jolliness that was infectious. He loved good humor and indulged in laughter that shook his whole body. It's not hard to see similarities in sons, grandsons, and at least with Jamison, the next generation too. He enjoyed a quick afternoon nap, took barbecuing chicken seriously and was always ready for a good discussion, particularly if it was about End times prophecy. 

He was a stalwart member of the church. He valued his integrity in the community far more than achieving "success" or wealth. He was accommodating and helpful, to anyone who needed it. But most of all, he was the patriarch of the family that made me who I am. 

I miss you Grandpa. I see your life reflected in the faces and the actions of my uncles, aunts, and cousins. I'm proud to take my part in carrying on your memory. 

Thank you for leaving a legacy to be proud of.